Why it works
Most of us rush to fill a pause, because silence in a conversation feels like a small social emergency. The other person feels exactly the same pressure.
When you hold the pause after their first answer, they feel the need to add something. What they add tends to be less rehearsed than the first answer: a doubt, a real number, the actual reason.
It works in interviews, salary talks, sales calls and one-on-ones. It costs three seconds and a little discomfort.
How to use it
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Ask, then stop
Ask your question and don’t add a second one or soften it.
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Count to three after the answer
When they finish, nod, keep eye contact and silently count to three before you say anything.
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Listen to the second answer
People usually keep talking to fill the pause. The second answer is often the more honest one.
Where it comes from